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Boyfriend Upgrade
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that
had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition,
Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other "valuable" programs, such as romance
9.9, and installed "undesirable" programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and
NHL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6
simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package,
while husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try to enter the command C:/ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install
Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0
to default to such applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0,
or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that
will create snoring loudly WAV files. DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0
or reinstall another boyfriend program. These are not supported
applications, and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially
cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend
9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce
potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary , Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
"limited memory" and can’t learn new applications quickly. You might
consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I

personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined
with such applications as that old standby... Lingerie 6.9.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

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译文如下：

技术负责人请看：

您好！

去年本人把"男友5.0"升级为"老公1.0"，发现财务软件发生意外的变化，导致与在"男友5.0"版本下，运行良好的"flower"和"装饰品"应用程序的连接发生障碍。

而且"老公1.0"系统删除了"浪漫9.9"等软件，并擅自把"足球11.0"或者"NBA3.0"安装进去。更糟糕的是，"沟通8.0"也不象以前那样灵活，"家务2.6"子系统渐渐处于崩溃状态。我试图用"唠叨5.3"解决问题，还是没有效果。

请告诉我如何解决此问题？

几乎绝望的用户

用户请看：

请注意，"男友5.0"是娱乐版软件，但是"老公1.0"是操作系统。

请在Ms-Dos方式下，输入"c:/你现在不爱我了？"命令，之后请安装"眼泪6.2"。

这样，"老公1.0"可能会自动运行"内疚感3.0"和"flower7.0"应用程序。

但是如果使用过多，"老公1.0"可能会把"沉默2.5"或者"啤酒6.1"设置为缺省程序。

其中"啤酒6.1"有时还自动创建"打呼噜"音响文件。

请千万不要安装"婆婆1.0"或者别的"男友"软件，这些都不会给你带来帮助，甚至有可能破坏"老公1.0"。

总之，"老公1.0"是一个不错的系统，只是它的内存有限，所以要适应新的软件，

需要一定的时间，若要提高其性能，请添加新软件，比如"好吃的饭菜3.0"。